Why Talking Trash About Someone Says More About You Than Them
If you had one thing to tell a new believer about following Jesus, what would it be? The gospel, baptism, communion? I think it's the thing Jesus said was most important. A man asked Him what the greatest commandment was:
Matthew 22:37-39 And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
He was asked for one, but Jesus gave two, because they're inextricably linked. You can't love God without loving your neighbor. And love, in Scripture, is never a feeling. It's actions. Love does.
We're in the section of James where he talks about being friends with the world or friends with God (see that message here if you missed it). Last week we looked at what we want and how we go about getting it. Today we're pairing two passages that are really about the same thing, one from James 4 and one near the end of the letter.
James 4:11-12 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
James has already talked about gossip and slander in this letter. Here he goes deeper: when you speak evil of someone, you're not just making a judgment call, you're deciding their punishment. You tear down what others think of them. That's a problem for two reasons.
First, it misreads who you are. You're a sinner saved by mercy, not a judge. People who know they need mercy give mercy; the ones who don't want a curve are the ones who scored highest on the test. If you're punishing people with your words, you're telling on yourself. Jesus told His disciples:
John 13:35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.
Second, it's a judgment against God. He already decided mercy was appropriate. When you punish someone for what He forgave, you're overruling Him, and only someone claiming to be above God gets to do that.
James 5:12 But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.
If you say it, it should be true, no contract required. This isn't about oaths people legitimately ask of you. It's about whether your word means anything on its own.
Both passages come down to the same root. If you loved someone, you'd keep your word to them. Instead we excuse our own broken promises as "reasonable" while holding everyone else to a harder standard. That's the same problem as before: if I don't think I need grace, I'll excuse my sin and come down hard on yours.
Don't Talk Trash About People
Just don't. Don't run your mouth tearing people down. If you need to talk about someone else, make sure you'd be okay with them saying the same things about you.
Keep Your Word
Do what you say you'll do. Be where you say you'll be. When you don't, you make it impossible for people to trust you, and you make Christians look bad. Being late is disrespectful. Saying you'll do something and not following through breaks someone's trust in you.
How Do You See Yourself, Others, & God
Those first two are obvious. This one's a little less obvious. Why are you talking trash or breaking your word? It comes down to how you see yourself, others, and God.
Do you love God? If you don't love your neighbor, you don't, no matter what you say. Do you realize you need mercy? If you've forgotten, you'll start acting like the judge instead of someone who was forgiven. Do you know Jesus loves your neighbor as much as He loves you? Get fixated on that, and you won't have to try to treat them well, you just will.
The way you see yourself and others exposes your relationship with God. If you see an issue here, repent, not just "sorry," but sorry and different, and that change comes from drawing near to Him, not trying harder.
Maybe you don't know Him yet and need to be saved. He's ready right now. Realize you're a sinner, believe Jesus is the only way to be rescued, and ask Him for forgiveness. I'd love to pray with you, but you don't need me to come to Him.
Maybe you know Him but you've drifted. Time with Him will remind you who He is, who you are, and who they are, and it will change you.
Will you acknowledge you've messed up and make it right, or keep going the way you've been going?
More from this series (leading up to this message):
