The Widow: Asking for Help
Most of us would rather face a hard situation alone than admit we need help. But in 1 Kings 17, God teaches Elijah, and us, that humility is one of the hardest and holiest acts of faith. In this message, Pastor Ben Hightower unpacks how God used Elijah’s need to grow someone else’s faith, and how our willingness to ask for help can become the very thing God uses to work in others’ lives.
When Asking for Help Feels Harder Than Facing a King
(1 Kings 17:7–16)
If you had to choose between confronting a king who could kill you or asking someone for help, which would you choose?
The math seems easy: risk death or ask for help. But most of us would hesitate before choosing the second option. We don’t like needing people. We’d rather get hurt than ask for help.
I know because I’ve done it. Once, I tried moving a few giant inflatables... by myself. I knew I should’ve called my dad for help, but I didn’t want to bother him. After hours of struggling, I finally caved and called him. And you know what? He was thrilled to help. He wanted to.
So why was I so embarrassed to ask? Why are so many of us like that? Maybe it’s cultural, maybe it’s human nature. Either way, we’d often rather risk harm than appear weak or needy.
That’s what makes the story of Elijah and the widow in 1 Kings 17 so powerful. It’s a story about provision, faith, and how God sometimes works through something as simple, and as humbling, as asking for help.
The Prophet with No Water
After Elijah confronts King Ahab, God hides him in the wilderness. Ahab and his wife Jezebel have led Israel into idolatry; complete with ritual prostitution and child sacrifice. God responds by withholding rain for years.
Elijah hides by a brook, where God miraculously provides food and water. But one day, the stream runs low. Then lower. Eventually, it dries up completely.
God could have provided new water instantly, but He didn’t. He waits until the brook is bone dry before speaking again:
“Arise, go to Zarephath, which belongs to Sidon, and dwell there. Behold, I have commanded a widow there to feed you.”
(1 Kings 17:8–9)
Zarephath was deep in enemy territory. Sidon was Jezebel’s homeland, the epicenter of Baal worship. Elijah isn’t just being sent into danger; he’s being sent into the lion’s den.
And to make it more confusing, God doesn’t send him to a wealthy household or a powerful ally. He sends him to a widow, the poorest of the poor.
It makes no sense on paper. But God isn’t doing this for Elijah’s safety. He’s doing it for something far greater.
A Widow at the Gate
After traveling roughly 100 miles through hostile territory, Elijah finally reaches Zarephath. Exhausted and hungry, he spots a woman gathering sticks outside the city gates.
He calls out to her:
“Bring me a little water in a vessel, that I may drink.”
She pauses, then turns to go get it. But as she walks away, Elijah calls again:
“Bring me a morsel of bread in your hand.”
Her response cuts deep:
“As the Lord your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug… that I may prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die.”
(v. 12)
This woman isn’t exaggerating. She’s down to her last meal.
Now imagine being Elijah in this moment. God sent you here for food, but the person you’re supposed to ask for help is literally starving. What do you say? How do you ask her for anything?
But before Elijah can even respond, God gives him a message of hope.
The Offer
Elijah says to her:
“Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me… For thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty until the day that the Lord sends rain upon the earth.’”
(vv. 13–14)
That’s not a small ask. He’s asking her to trust a God she doesn’t know and to give away her last meal.
But Elijah also gives her a promise: if she takes this step of faith, God will take care of her. Every day. Until the drought ends.
And she does it.
“She went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days.”
(v. 15)
Her faith opens the door to daily provision. Not abundance, not wealth: daily bread. Enough for today, and then enough again tomorrow.
The Pattern of Faith
This story fits a pattern we see all through Scripture:
Abraham’s servant asks for water, and Rebekah’s generosity leads her into the family of promise (Genesis 24).
Jesus’ disciples rely on the hospitality of strangers, and those who receive them share in their reward (Matthew 10:40–42).
The Samaritan woman offers Jesus a drink, and in return, He offers her living water (John 4).
In every case, faith begins with a small act of giving, an act that often feels uncomfortable or risky.
And here’s the key: God often asks us to trust Him with something small before He entrusts us with something great.
The widow’s faith didn’t end the drought, but it kept her and her son alive through it.
We Don’t Want Daily Bread
Most of us would rather God solve our problems once and for all. End the drought. Refill the bank account. Fix the relationship.
But God doesn’t usually work that way.
He gives daily bread. Enough for today. Enough to keep trusting tomorrow.
The widow didn’t wake up with barns full of grain. She woke up every morning to find just enough flour and oil. That’s how God built her faith, and Elijah’s too.
When Jesus teaches His disciples to pray, He doesn’t say, “Give us wealth and security.” He says,
“Give us this day our daily bread.”
(Matthew 6:11)
Because dependence (humble, daily dependence) is how we learn to trust.
What This Story Teaches Us
Let’s bring this home. What does this moment between Elijah and the widow have to do with us?
1. Asking for Help Isn’t Weakness
We avoid asking for help for two main reasons:
Pride - We don’t want to look incapable.
Love - We don’t want to burden others.
But both can be forms of pride when they keep us from doing what God calls us to do.
2. Pride Keeps You from Grace
The gospel begins with the confession that we cannot save ourselves.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.”
(Ephesians 2:8–9)
If our entire faith is built on depending on God’s grace, how can we be too proud to depend on others?
When you refuse to ask for help, you’re sending a message that you’re self-sufficient, and that’s not the gospel. The gospel says we’re all broken, all needy, all dependent on the mercy of Another.
Refusing help isn’t strength. It’s unbelief disguised as confidence.
3. Love Invites Others to Participate
Sometimes we say, “I don’t want to be a burden,” but that can actually rob others of the chance to show love.
When Elijah asked the widow for help, he gave her a chance to experience God’s power. If he had stayed silent out of “love,” she would’ve missed the miracle.
God often uses our needs to open someone else’s heart.
Here’s what that looks like in real life:
Asking a neighbor for help can open a door for a relationship.
Allowing a friend to serve you can strengthen their faith.
Letting someone carry your burden gives them the joy of obedience.
You’re not just asking for help, you’re creating space for God to work through someone else’s obedience.
4. God Works Through Both Sides of the Exchange
Elijah needed food. The widow needed faith.
Elijah’s request gave her an opportunity for faith and her faith gave him food.
When you’re willing to ask for help, God often blesses both people in the process.
The Hardest Act of Faith
The hardest act of faith isn’t stepping out in courage; it’s staying in humility. Elijah had to trust God not only to send him to Zarephath, but also to depend on someone else there. God didn’t send Elijah to a palace or to a wealthy home; He sent him to a widow with nothing left to give.
Sometimes God’s provision requires us to let others help us, not because He can’t provide directly, but because He wants to work through them. Our willingness to receive help can become the very thing that grows someone else’s faith. Elijah’s obedience gave the widow a chance to trust God’s promise. If he had refused her help, she might never have seen God’s power at work in her own home.
That’s the quiet kind of faith most of us resist; the faith to receive instead of provide, to accept help instead of pretending we’re fine. But humility is part of obedience. When we allow others to serve us, we give them a front-row seat to God’s faithfulness. Sometimes the hardest act of faith isn’t doing something great for God, it’s stepping aside so someone else can.
In our lives, that looks like saying “yes” when someone offers to bring a meal, help with a bill, or pray for us. It means being honest about our need instead of trying to handle everything ourselves. God often uses those small, humbling moments to strengthen faith, not just ours, but theirs. When we allow help, we create space for God to work in community, and that’s how faith grows on both sides of the miracle.
Bottom Line
God wants to use you to reach others, even through your weakness.
Sometimes He does that through your words, sometimes through your generosity, and sometimes through your need.
The question is:
Will you trust Him enough to ask for help when He tells you to?
Will you set aside your pride, open yourself to love, and give others the opportunity to see God at work through you?
Because sometimes, the miracle doesn’t start with your strength.
Sometimes, it starts when you say, “I can’t do this alone.”
“Will you ask for help for their sake?”
